Still Here

Wow

It's been quite awhile since I last posted...sorry about that.

Holiday's are over now so slightly less busy. However my time is being eaten like candy by my other job. I work at a Chick-fil-a restaurant that my cousin owns. At first I was just helping with the lunch rush during the holidays but she asked me to stay on and switch to full time. So I did and now I'm still busy.

I've also been very distracted by a cute boy :oD

Hmmm as far as knitting goes I'm still working on the same projects, almost done with the red wrist warms (the ones that were supposed to be socks). I also ordered and received some yarn from knit picks for a few new projects I'd like to start.

Pictures coming next week, I promise!

She's alive!

Finally over whatever it was that wiped me out, I was down till about a week ago. So why did I wait to update till now you ask?? Well I've started at a new job and have been kinda busy with that. My insomnia's been worse too which hasn't been helping :oP

But this isn't a poor me post, it's a knitting update! So on to pictures :oD

Knucks - finished one, will be casting on for the second tomorrow. I had some woolease in my stash and liked the color so that's what I'm using :o)


Ripple Weave Wrist Warmers - remember my sock I wasn't speaking too?? Well I "fixed" it...now it's a wrist warmer!! I LOVE this thing and have cast on for the second one (no pictures of it yet...I'm only about 5 rows in)


And I've started a new project...a hat for me :oD The pattern is from the book "Weekend Knitting", here's what it looks like

and here's mine so far

yes, that's an insane number of ends to weave in...but I adore this hat so much I'll willing to do it.

So...yeah, that's what I've been up to. And I bet you're still wondering about my new job huh (of course you are..haha). Well here's my boss and his wife (and me)...

yep, I work with Santa Clause!! I'm working as a photographer, so much fun :o)

Slight Delay

I know, I didn't update when I said I would...and this is just a quick post :o(

I've been hit with a bug or something...am sooo drained, and not really feeling up to taking time to make a real post.

So quick mini update:
I've updated my WIP list:

• took off the counterpanes to go handbag....cause I'm really not interested in working on it at all, haven't decided yet if I'm going to frog it or just stick it in a box somewhere and forget about it for awhile
• added knucks, I've really grown attached to fingerless gloves and decided I need another pair...they're green :oD

I haven't really been knitting much lately; my hands are VERY dry and having yarn over under and through my fingers irritates them greatly.

That's all for now, I've gotta go take a nap and recharge :o(

Success!

I did it; made myself finish with the knitting of Nautie



As you can see he's not quite finished yet...still need to give him eyes. I couldn't find my felt this morning though so I'll be adding them sometime later when I locate it :o)

I promise I'll make a "real" knitting update tomorrow (including updating my sidebar)

Nautie

Yep, that's the Nautie I've been working on...poor thing's been like that for almost a week now. I'm sick of looking at it but am going to try and make myself finish it today...

I'll post another picture tomorrow, might not have eyes but hopefully will have all it's tentacles :o)

Healing

My apologies if you've already read this over at my LiveJournal. I am trying to keep this blog strictly craft related but this seemed such a significant turning point in my life I could not help myself :o) The picture at the bottom is my sweet sweet kitty (Korat) who has seen me through all the happiness and the despair as I've ridden this emotional roller coaster. I love my kitty!!


This is what I wrote in my journal yesterday over at dailystrength.org:

So last night I found out there was a problem; turns out that the photography studio didn't get my application and when I tried to send it again yesterday the job listing had been taken down so I was unable to submit it :o( I guess it just wasn't meant to be...but that's ok.

I've now realized that I am doing rather well. Yes, I've been out of school for more then a year. Yes, I've been out of work for about 8 months. But I've also been adjusting too and learning how to cope with having Celiac Disease.

I've now realized that I am exactly where I need to be. Most of the people I interact with don't understand because they don't have to deal with having a lifelong condition like this. They don't have to follow a strict diet and worry all the time about getting sick...but that's ok too.

I've now realized that I have no reason to feel bad about not having a job or being in school. I am still learning to cope. I have come a long way and should be proud of what I have accomplished.

I am crying as I'm typing this (never realized how hard it is to see the screen through tears..haha), they're good tears, tears of joy :o) I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I can be content, now my inner turmoil will end, now I'll no longer feel bad when someone asks me where I work or if I'm in school.

Work and school will come when it is time. Right now I need to take care of me, I need to work on healing, I need to focus on wellness.

I almost feel reborn, like a new person...a happier person :o)


This is very good :o)

All summer long I've been feeling more and more despairing and pathetic because I'm not in school and I don't have a job, I just exist. When I meet new people they always ask what I do or if I'm in school but when I tell them I'm not doing either I feel bad and somehow ashamed. I have cried many tears over this and had many dark days because of it. I've hidden most of my despair from all that know me in real life...some knew I was occasionally down but not the full extent of it. I tried to hide my feelings because I didn't want to alarm anyone and would've felt more pathetic had anyone known why I was so down...I have a hard time trusting anyone with my deepest feelings and thoughts.

But now...I've accepted. I thought I had come to terms with having celiac disease but I hadn't quite fully accepted it. Now I feel like I can move forward. I have realized that even though this is hard it's ok. My having a hard time with this does not make me weak or less of a person. I am going to have to live with this condition for the rest of my life! Of course it's going to be hard!

I still have healing to do. My body has been healing for a year but I am only now starting to see signs of repair. This is normal :o) I just need to be patient and keep moving forward. My celiac was discovered early enough in my lifetime that I will most likely make a full and complete recovery, it just takes awhile.

I haven't felt this happy in months. I guess I really was depressed after all, I just didn't realize it because it creeps up so slowly.

But now I am overwhelmed by joy :o)

Fetching again

Here I am, stuck at home :o( Saturday's usually my day to get outta the house and do what I please, but today Mum and Daddy had a dress rehearsal that started very early this morning and will go until about 4 o'clock this afternoon. So being the oldest child (aka built in babysitter :oP) I get to help out (at least I get to go to their concert tonight, supposed to be awesome)

I wasn't going to update today because I didn't think I'd have any knitting updates to make but that was before my insomnia kicked in...I now have a new pair of fetching:



You can see I decided to continue the cable all the way up. They hug my hands a lot more then my last pair...kinda nice :o) Last week I discovered that if I wear some of these all the time, my fingers are less frozen (they're always cold!). I think this has something to do with them covering my pulse points and increasing blood flow to my hands?? I don't really know and don't really care so long as they help my fingers remain a more normal temperature and not be so stiff and achy from being frozen all the time.

As David correctly stated yesterday, my hat says "Damn I'm cute" :oD This is something you would not normally hear me say in real life; mainly because I don't (usually) use profanity*. FYI - If you know or ever meet/speak to my parents or any of my relatives...it says "I'm so cute" ;o) I came to decide on this phrase when I was discussing this hat with some internet buddies. It was suggested I do something like "Smile Beautiful" or something to that affect...I liked this version better :oD

*I don't use profanity because IMO when it is used in excess it does not give the impression of intelligence. There are so many other words we can use to express ourselves, why use the same four letter words, that all mean basically the same thing, over and over again?? And BTW I'm fine with others using profanity around me, you can curse so much it would make a sailor blush for all I care, just don't expect me to join in :o) Of course the exception is when I've been glutened...for the first few days I am in a VERY foul and bitchy mood; so much so that I usually hole up and keep to myself as to avoid deeply offending those close to me...I say a lot of things I don't mean.